Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
