this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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