I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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