: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
