We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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