It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
