Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so let's talk penis.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
