I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
