You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
