Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
