I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
