We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize