Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
