Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
