He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
