i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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