We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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