I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
