I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
