So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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