Just cropdusted the office
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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