Is it normal to miss your booty call?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
