I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I need moral support for this bender
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize