Swine flu. Run for my life!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
