Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
