I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
