drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i will never coherently bang her
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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