we're blogging at a bar
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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