dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
