Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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