i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
