he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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