he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize