chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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