I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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