I'm sorry my penis didn't work
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
