you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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