did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
