Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
