Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
