He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
