Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
