It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
