I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We talked him into tasing himself.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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