I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize