someone threw a dead crab at me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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