He is an equal opportunity slut.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
