That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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