i may or may not be watching the land before time
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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