Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
