Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
