okay pat passed out under dana's car
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Fuck appropriateness.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize