i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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