Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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