At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
