You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
