I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
