i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
