man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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