it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
