Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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